Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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