the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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