How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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