You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
