i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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