everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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