he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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