so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
