She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
