True but thats because hes a fetus.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
sex in a hospital.. check
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
