you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
