I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
