Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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