New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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