you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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