I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
