Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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