I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize