Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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