So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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