from now on my penis is your penis
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
