Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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