he shaved USA in his pubs
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
