I'm really into asian looking animals
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
