The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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