Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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