Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Let's paint friendship bongs
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How does one acquire holy water?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize