I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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