how do flat chested girls get laid?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
