The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
A bitchslap is in order.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize