Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
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