I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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