Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
