just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
