So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
