just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
