I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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