he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
