I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
