Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize