2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
