@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
