You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
They have beer where we have blood.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
