i just wanna soil my oats bro
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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