How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
