Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
