No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
