oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
