all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
