Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
