Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize