I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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