He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
