I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
