im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
