I hate your face
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
