Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize