No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
