I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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