Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize