please come you make the beer taste better
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
