i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
