just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
