she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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