The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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