Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
