You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
