piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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