Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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