Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
