I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
