this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
