I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
