I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i dont even know how to be here
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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