nut hugger
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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