Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize