I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
