I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
