If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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