awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
